Boundary Training Retreat Brings Grounding, Restorative Space to UCC Missouri Mid-South Clergy

Partnership is the recurring theme in most CHHSM-related activities. Recently, the UCC’s Missouri Mid-South Conference asked CHHSM’s the Rev. Elyse Berry to collaborate on its annual clergy retreat. The successful retreat was held Nov. 13-15 at the Kabekona Hills Retreat Center in Rolla, Mo.

Berry, CHHSM’s associate for advocacy and leadership development, facilitated the ritual/spiritual practices portions of the retreat. She was invited thanks to the Rev. Andrea Asselmeier, a Nollau Institute graduate and Diakonal Minister who serves on both the Missouri Mid-South Conference and CHHSM boards. From her experiences with CHHSM and in Nollau, Asselmeier believed CHHSM would be the right fit to facilitate the ritual/spiritual practices portions of the retreat.

“The retreat was a deeply renewing experience, offering authentic connection and conversation, time for rest and renewal, and spiritual centering needed to reconnect with my own spirit,” said Asselmeier, who also is chaplain at Emmaus Homes in St. Charles, Mo. “The rhythm of prayer, reflection, and gentle community created a sense of grounding I hadn’t realized how much I needed. I returned home feeling centered, refreshed, and more fully rooted in my call.”

The theme of the retreat included cultivating healthy boundaries and practices, and love of God, others, and self. It was based on the work of Nedra Glover Tawwab, a best-selling author and practicing therapist. The theme was determined based on the needs of the conference’s active clergy, who are struggling with burnout, challenging workplace dynamics, and the overall stress from the current state of the country and world. 

“I can honestly say this was the most enjoyable, relational, and restorative clergy boundary training I’ve ever attended or been part of,” said Berry. “Andrea [Asselmeier] did an excellent job of setting the tone, carving out the right amount of time together and time on our own, and bringing us material that would be applicable professionally and personally. You could tell how thoughtful, intentional, and skillful she was in coordinating this event.”

The balance between time together and time alone was key to the success of the retreat. 

“The Missouri Mid-South UCC Clergy Retreat was an impactful experience, sharing together spaces where we can grow and learn from each other,” said the Rev. Meredith Jackson, program director at CHHSM member Isaiah 58 Ministries in St. Louis. “We focused on boundaries as an act of love. Love of self, love of God, and love of others. We took time to discern how our roles as humans, clergy, partners, and colleagues are impacted by boundaries.”

But it was the time set aside for self-care that Jackson particularly appreciated, especially when balanced with shared experiences. “Hours were set aside for acts of self-care, engaging with the natural space around us through swimming, boating, hiking, crafting, resting … and even a bit of golf,” she said. “Gifts were offered through shared meals and experiences. Throughout the time, the Rev. Elyse Berry helped ground us in time of reflection, prayer, song, and movement. For me, [the retreat] highlighted the importance of time set apart to ground oneself to the deeper meaning in the work we do.”

The Missouri Mid-South Conference takes its partnership with UCC-related health and human service ministries seriously, providing support and opportunities to gather, among other gifts. The partnership has its roots in the ministry of the Rev. Louis Edward Nollau, a St. Louis-based minister in the UCC predecessor body, the Evangelical and Reformed Church. In the mid-1800s while serving as a local church pastor, Nollau formed many of the CHHSM ministries in the conference. CHHSM’s successful Nollau Leadership Institute is named for him.

For Berry, the collaborative leadership of the Missouri Mid-South clergy retreat was particularly meaningful. Berry normally creates all of the material in CHHSM staff led retreats. This time, “the work was not only lighter because it was shared, but the dynamic it created offered such a restorative tone and space,” Berry added. “I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity and to connect with so many clergy who intersect with CHHSM’s work and mission in a myriad of ways.”